You know, things are starting to pick themselves up. But somehow there a little signs that tell you its too late, its not gonna be the same, its somehow gonna bite you in the arse again. I must be thinking too much. Hopefully.

And Christmas passed. Loveliest present from josh, and the best card too. Simple, kinky yet heartwarming. And Vic's card was just nice, in every sense of the word. Kinda makes me like how a few words from someone can actually make your day such an awesome one. And cousin Junie got my brother and I an Adidas and Fossil watch, and since my brother has a public vengeance on watches, both are mine! Besides, we share watches anw.

Oh, oh, did I mention christmas sucked? No mood, didnt make presents, spent eve, day and boxing day subsequently at dad's alley slogging my backside off. loveliest christmas ever. Nvm. Shopping trip on sunday with mommy. (random insert: andrew just came online! YAY!) oh, and orientation picnic on monday, and S43 gathering too! pity i have to miss the s43 one. but there's class chalet! Thank goodness, looking forward to everything!

And the emo side of me takes over again...

Once again, no reply. And I just have no idea how to turn things around. And I still dumbly keep all the fond memories of the past, which do nothing but remind me of how horrible things are now. And I just cant let it go. Yea, I look fine, I act fine. Actually, I'm fine. Its just those little moments, and you just feel like shit. And it just makes you feel scared you know. That someday you gotta bow your head down and just admit you lost it.

but then again, its moments like this that i really appreciate the soon yous, celeste, josh and drew for everything they've done. the little things they do, just makes you wanna run up to them and enter huggle attack mode.

okay, and i'm going all emo-y and blah. and yes, i blame the christmas spirit for this. so i'm going to shut up and go sleep. no one ever reads this blog anyway, so why the hell do i say all these things here? delusional boy, shut up and go sleep.

cos all of the stars,
have faded away,
just try not to worry,
you'll see 'em someday.
take what you need,
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out.

cos you don't have any reason to.