Whoopee. Nope, I'm not excited for anything.

Just a random post. Like, to get some irritatingly stubborn thoughts outta my head, now that I know NO ONE reads this. (Honestly, how come everyone thinks I've stopped blogging?)

Okay, confession, my sensitive side just went into crazy mode, so I'm taking all the small things and blowing it all up way outta proportion, in my head though, thank goodness. Then comes this little dude in my head that tells me there's a slight chance that I'm right.

Thank goodness my little green book keeps me sane. But somehow, it irks me how retarded some people can be. Sigh. What to do? Everyone has retarded moments, just that some have it more than others. So animal farm. Heh.

But you know what? I think its time to stop trying to make things right, cos it still doesn't feel right, and I don't want to fall into that state once again. At the very least, I no longer consider myself that much of an asshole, and to be very realistic, I started out without it anyway, so yea. But don't worry, it ain't about what everyone thinks it is. Its something else, something so personal only two people know anything about it. (Bet 5 bucks no one believes me, oh wait, no one reads this blog)

Weirdest part, I feel this extreme need to be alone when I'm with people, yet I feel this extreme need to be with people when I'm alone. Yea, weird right? Although right now I'm savouring the pleasures of being highly anti-social, and trying to take a leaf outta shaun's book by taking everything day by day. Lucky buggers who enlist in Feb.

Secretly not taking my jobhunt seriously, secretly want to slack off till I enlist, secretly just realized this isn't very secretly. And secretly waiting for sandy, esti sweej to arrange our monopoly date. And secretly waiting for the day when kenrick xw and collin are free to k, and I secretly just remembered I'm supposed to plan one more k session with s43, and secretly waiting for the sleepover, and secretly thinking this secretly thing is just too excessive.

Okay, retarded post. But gotta chill for the next week, mug me arse off for SATs, which I conveniently haven't started. Which means I'm gonna get my arse to get a SAT book, sit down for 2 hours each day and study, which I suspect will not happen, and I can just laugh at myself for wasting money again.

Argh, stupid emo mood, get outta my head.

Sigh. Cos you know something? No matter how much you said you've let it go, no matter how much you try to convince yourself, somehow, a small part of it tugs at your heartstrings, and you secretly know its just something you can never let go.